The Word on Wales

What can I say? It was Paris. Photo montage, go!
First sight of the trip, Arc de Triomphe.

Are words necessary?

Still not sure I was actually there.

La nuit étoilée by Van Gogh in Musse d'Orsay. In the next few rooms surrounding this were also Reniors, Monets, Degas and other impressionists I've heard of and never thought I'd actually experience beyond books and computer screens. Definitely contends for the highlight of the trip.

More impressionism.

Sorry, couldn't help myself. It was soo tempting.

We couldn't find Nicole Kidman or Ewan McGregor.

So Mom, did I tell you our hotel was a block outside of the red light district?

Inside the National Opera House, the home of the Phantom.

Yep, I was really there.

There she is. So tiny. So much hype. But we actually saw her smile.

70 meters square, Wedding Feast at Cana by Paolo Caliari dit Veronese. One of the largest paintings in the museum and directly across the room from Mona Lisa.

When in doubt, follow the Asians.

Do you really want to know?

Some art from the Islamic section.

Notre Dame.

More for the Catholics.

River Seine at night. Muah.

Tour Eiffel at night. Gorgeous. And we actually went up in it this time. Great way to end our trip.

OK. So, Nessie.

When we went to Edinburgh it was a school-organized trip and lucky for me, four of my flatmates came too. Thus, we were destined to have a fantastic time. But I’m pretty sure I could have gone to Edinburgh completely by myself and the city is just so differently cool, I still would have had a good time.

All we did in the city was walk the Royal Mile, visit the castle and a wool mill and hit up a couple pubs — and it’s still right up there contending for my favorite U.K. city. I’m not sure how to describe it really. It’s old, very old. It’s got character cities in the U.S. only think about trying to reproduce. It’s like London, but better. Cleaner, quieter. More relaxed. And it’s very welcoming. It had the same Georgian architecture as Bath. But somehow it came off in a less pretentious way. Maybe it was just the wool and whiskey shops every where we turned that made it that way, tucked in between the pubs and the churches with the castle overlooking it all. Maybe it was the ocean right beside it and the Scottish pride that seeps from it and makes it reverberate. Whatever it is, any U.K. visitors should put it at the top of their lists.

I spent more money in Edinburgh than any other city I’ve visited. Whisky and wool, what more do I need to say. But it was worth it. Additionally, we stumbled across this little pub, tried haggis and Scottish ales for lunch, absolutely intriguing. The ales I would try again, the haggis, not so much. It was worth one shot though.

Afterward, we went to the castle. It sits on a cliff face that overlooks the city. Fantastic view, great photos. And we had good weather for once. Then we went to the wool mill next door where I bought my new favorite winter accessories, a pair of hand warmers that match every piece of clothing I brought with me and my two favorite jackets every. So I’m not really sure how I’m going to function without them when summer comes around. But I guess I’ll make due.

We were back at the hostel by 5 p.m. We were still exhausted from the trip and though we had every intention of going back to New Town to catch the night scene, our hostel bar was very enticing, served us cheap dinner and drinks and let us play pool. We were content for the night. And after all, we had scheduled a Highlands tour with the final destination being Loch Ness the next day. We had to get our beauty sleep — couldn’t have those eyes being droopy when Nessie was about.

We left on a bus tour bright and early. There were maybe 15 or so people in our van and we had an authentically Scottish tour guide who provided entertaining commentary and story telling in his gorgeous, gorgeous Scottish accent almost the entire ride. I don’t care what anyone says, Scottish accents are the best. Irish are a little to heavy, English a bit to pretentious. Welsh is just OK. But Scottish. Oh my.

Anyway, we stopped to view scenery along the way, meet Hamish, the Highland bull who has lived in solitary since the epidemic of Mad Cow swept across the country and the local people campaign to save this little legend from slaughter. He was only slightly amused by our coaxing and cooing. Cassie was most excited. Damn Texan. She actually pissed him off a little bit. Or was it her and Leah?

Moving on, again, bought way too many souvenirs on our stops. People at home, prepare. But eventually, we came to the first of the four major lochs we would pass on our journey and the mood of the trip changed from light-hearted amazement to anticipatory shivers of fear and the prospect of spotting Nessie grew closer and closer. Not really, but you get a great bit of imagery there, no?

The lochs definitely were cool. And just in case anyone really wants to know, loch is just the Scottish Gaelic name for lake. They also call mountains and valleys bends and glens, respectfully. Weirdos.

The four major lochs we drove by were Loch Dochfour, Loch Oich Loch Lochy and the last is Loch Ness. In 1803 construction on the Caledonian Canal was started. It was built to connect them all so ships could cut through the Atlantic Ocean to the North Sea more efficiently, kind of like the Panama Canal. But by the time it was finished officially in 1847, technology had made cargo ships too large to actually use it, so since then, it has only been used for leisure cruises and other small boats. Real efficient, eh?

We got to Loch Ness, more specifically, the little town of Fort Augustus, population circa. 600, and had just enough time to grab lunch at a pub before hoping on a Loch Ness boat cruise. We had our cameras, we’d had a pint a piece and we were raring to go. It was also misty and we froze our asses off. But damn it, we were going to spot that stinkin’ monster!

Halfway through our little hour long voyage, we gave up and went down below. And what do you know, they had bottles of a beer called Nessie. So of course I had to try it. I was just getting into it when I had Leah take a picture of me with my pint. She was flipping back through the camera to make sure she hadn’t captured a glare.

“Holy crap Jess, Nessie’s in your picture!”

I chuckled, leery of what I was sure was a speck on the camera or a fly on the window. Now before I tell you this next part, I want to clarify that I’d only had a pint and a half, very, very minor, casual drinking over the past two hours. But I looked at that picture and I did a double take. I zoomed in closer. There really was something behind me in the picture. Something distinctly not a speck or a fly.

I looked out the window, searching for whatever it was — a log, a big snake, a shadow. But there was nothing, just water. And then I saw it. On the window. A decal. In the shape of Nessie. So passengers could pretend to take pictures with Nessie in the background. They were in every window of the boat. But very, very effective, and entertaining. Even more so, I’m sure, after you’ve had some Scottish whiskey or more than a couple pints.

We heard the stories about the Loch Ness monster from our tour guide, from our cruise captain. Leah even told us a story about a supposed pliosaurus skeleton being pulled out of the lake. Most of the stories involved crazy people and alcohol. Mysterious pictures. Single-man sightings. I’m a bit skeptical. But at the same time, I can’t completely disregard it. It is a ginormous loch. It’s the largest body of fresh water in Great Britain, 754 feet deep at its lowest point with 16,430,000 gallons of water. There are a lot of places for a creature to hide, no matter how large it is.

We concluded our Highlands tour with a stop at a whiskey shop. I bought half a liter of whisky mead. The sample I had tasted exactly as I pictured butterbeer would. I’ll try to save it until I get home for all to sample, but there are not any guarantees.

The rest of our trip was rounded out with dinner at Bella Italia, an excellent U.K. chain restaurant and a couple pints at a pub called Deacon Brodies. The next morning, we went down to the beach our hostel was on and touched the North Sea and collected sea glass. All in all, it was an excellent experience.

Pictured above: The Royal Mile, haggis balls and Scottish ales, view of Edinburgh from the castle, Hamish, view of the Highlands, Leah and Cassie hiding from the cold and Nessie, my obliviousness, the beginning of Loch Ness, Amelia and Kelli at the pub, the Firth of Forth near our hostel.